Joe and Bill were watching Monday Night Football when somebody knocked on the door.
Opening the door, Joe was startled to see a huge gorilla in a delivery uniform. Next to him was a purple refrigerator wrapped in yellow ribbon and topped with a big bow.
“Sign here,” said the gorilla.
“Who’s it from,” Joe asked.
“I don’t know. There’s a card attached.”
Pulling the card from the refrigerator, Joe opened it and read aloud. “A Gift Just For You.” The card was unsigned.
“Where do you want this thing?”
“Put it in the kitchen.”
The gorilla grabbed the refrigerator, slung it under his arm, and carried it into Joe’s kitchen.
“Thanks,” Joe said.
The gorilla put out his hand, and waited. When Joe gave him five dollars, the gorilla threw the money, roared ferociously, and jumped up and down.
Bill ran into the kitchen. “Give him a banana before he tears your place apart!”
Grabbing two bananas, Joe offered them to the gorilla.
The animal stopped his tantrum immediately. Grabbing the bananas, he said, “Have a nice day.” A second later, he was gone.
“What the hell was that all about?” Joe asked.
“Blame it on outsourcing,” Bill said. “Consider yourself lucky it spoke English.” Then he added, “Geez, I never saw a purple refrigerator before. Where’d it come from?”
“I don’t know. Whoever sent it didn’t sign the card. I’m gonna open it. If somebody was nice enough to buy me a gift like this, maybe they were nice enough to put something valuable inside.”
Joe cut the ribbon, and opened the refrigerator. Instead of shelves, he found a second door inside made of old, weathered wood. Mounted on the door was a red flashing neon sign that said: KELLY’S BAR.
Astonished, Joe opened the wooden door. Suddenly, the apartment was flooded with loud music, raucous laughter, and the odor of stale beer.
“Sounds like somebody’s having one helluva party in there.”
“Let me have a look,” said Bill. “There’s nothing to see. It’s pitch black inside.”
A voice rang out from inside the bar. “Close the damn door! You’re lettin’ flies in!”
Startled, Joe slammed the door shut.
“Don’t open it again!” Bill hollered. “It could be the doorway to Hell.”
“How can that be Hell when everybody’s having such a great time?”
The wooden door flew open on it’s own. A woman’s voice called, “Hey, Handsome. Come inside and join the party. I’ll buy you a beer.”
“Did you hear that?” Joe asked. “She sounds hot. Hey, if a babe wants to buy me a beer, I sure ain’t gonna disappoint her.”
“Don’t go!” Bill said. “She could be one of them hags I heard about on a spooky talk show. They look great for a while, then when you’re in their clutches, they turn into ugly, man-eating monsters.”
“That’s bull. I’m going in.” Bill jumped in front of the door. “I swear, if you try to go in there, I’ll bust your head.”
“Move away or you’re a dead man!” Joe yelled.
Suddenly, Kelly's door swung outward with such force it knocked Bill over. Huge pointed claws reached out, grabbed his ankles, and yanked him into the darkness.
Though Joe tried to save Bill, he wasn’t quick enough. The door slammed in his face. Hard as he tried, he couldn’t open it. He ran to the garage, grabbed a sledgehammer, and slammed the wooden door with all his might. But he didn’t even make a dent.
Dialing 911, he hollered, “Help! This is an emergency! Something weird just pulled my friend inside a refrigerator. And I can’t get the door open.”
“Is it a purple refrigerator?”
“Was it delivered by a gorilla?”
While the operator said, “I’ll hafta put you on hold—-the same thing’s happening all over town,” sharp claws grabbed Joe’s ankles and pulled him into the darkness.
"The Wooden Door"
Copyright: © 2009 Michael A. Kechula
Michael A. Kechula is a retired tech writer. His fiction has won first place in eight contests and placed in seven others. He’s also won Editor’s Choice awards four times. His stories have been published by 114 magazines and 30 anthologies in Australia, Canada, England, India, Scotland, and US. He’s authored a book of flash and micro-fiction stories: “A Full Deck of Zombies--61 Speculative Fiction Tales.” eBook available at http://www.booksforabuck.com/ and http://www.fictionwise.com/ Paperback available at http://www.amazon.com/.