The New Flesh

It’s the mother fuckin’ zombies again, Bo. Where’s the axe? What do you mean you left it in the stump? Your mama musta dropped you on your fool head.

Some buncha millions of people in this world get turned to zombies and I’m stuck with mother fuckin’ you. You know them zombies come sniffin’ round every dang night. Without that axe, you and me is toast.

See, Bo, here they comes. And lookee there, it’s Jo-leen. Joleen been after me since birth and now that she’s a mother fuckin’ zombie she’s damn hard to get rid of. I thought she was rough lookin’ before. Shooo-wee, buddy.

C’mon over here t’the window, Bo. See? See there? It’s Joleen, amblin’ up. She’s missin half an arm, damn near most her face, and…Well, dang. I can see her tits! Bo! I can see Joleen’s tits! If I’d known what them looked like before she went all zombie, I mighta had to overlook her other parts.

Oh, they smelt us. They’re a runnin’!

Well, Bo, it’s been real shitty knowin’ you. You ain’t never done right by me, and now we’re both gonna die here in this cabin with an axe no further than a field goal. And, Bo, it’s all your fault.

See, Bo, those zombies only like fresh meat. Real fresh, kill’t it yourself fresh. I got me just one bullet left in this here gun and I figure, since dyin’ today seems to be your doin’, well, I figure this bullet’s mine. One shot and up I go to meet my Maw. I don’t wanna think ‘bout what’s gonna happen to you. Maybe you can make friends with Joleen. She’s got real nice tits. Shooo-wee…

"Tits & Ass & Zombies"

Copyright: © 2010 Katie Moore

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Katie Moore is an editor for The Legendary, a writer, a mother, and a miscreant. Find her online at The Girl Circus http://www.thegirlcircus.com/.