Bethany Bluetooth’s family was sitting in the living room when she brought her new boyfriend home. Her twin brother, Benjamin, sat on the couch, listening to his MP3 player and head-banging to some old Slayer music. At the other end of the sofa sat her mother, Bonnie. She was reading a Home and Garden magazine and fiddling with her blond hair that she’d had fixed-up in a cute fifties-style beehive. Bethany’s father, Buford, was kicked back in the recliner, flipping through the 280 channels and complaining about how there was never anything on TV.

Bethany put a stray lock of wavy blond hair behind her ear, and cleared her throat. “Hello, peeps!” she said loudly, tilting her head, throwing her arms out in an expression that said: Look at me. “This is my new B.F. Clark Moxon. He’s the star basketball player at Fairvale High School.”

Benjamin pushed pause on his MP3 player and pulled out an ear bud. He gawked at the two with livid blue eyes.

Bonnie quit playing with her hair, looked over her magazine and smiled charmingly at the two of them.

Buford sat up in the recliner, turned the TV off and said, “Damn it, Bethany! Why do you always bring home these skinny, little boys?” His pale-brown eyes leered at Clark Moxon like he was mere prey.

“Buford!” Bonnie yelped, playfully swinging the magazine at him. “Be nice.”

“Yea, dad,” Bethany said, crossing her arms. She smiled sheepishly at him, rolling her dazzling-blue eyes. “It’s not like you walked-in on me riding his vertical stick.”

Clark’s smooth face blushed. His manhood hardened at the thought.

Bonnie shrieked, “Bethany! I told you to not be using that silly slang in my house!”

“Sorry, mom. I meant to say riding his dick.”

Clark’s face grew redder while his eyes darted back-and-forth in his head. He couldn’t imagine saying “dick” in front of his parents. But this was the Bluetooth family, and he’d heard all of the rumors about how they were the craziest son-of-a-bitches this side of Texas. Yeah, he knew of the dangers of dating Bethany. But she had supermodel beauty who put-out rather easily, and Clark Moxon was just like every other seventeen-year-old teenage boy… Horny as can be.

Buford rose from the recliner and walked over to Clark. He picked up Clark’s slender arm and said, “Hell, there ain’t no meat on these bones.”

Clark’s heart sped up. Cannibals, he thought. That’s one of the rumors about the Bluetooth family. Is that they are… “Cannibals,” he whimpered, face losing color. “Are you guys cannibals?”

The family of four glared at him with bewildered eyes. Nobody said a word. Clark could hear his heart beating faster and faster in his ears, as sweat formed on his forehead and on his hands.

Then the Bluetooth family broke-out in laughter.

“We’re not cannibals, Clark,” Benjamin said, getting up. He patted Clark’s erect penis on the way out of the room and added, “We don’t eat meat.”

Bonnie snickered, “We do eat meat, Clark. Just not human meat.”

“Aw, ok,” Clark said relieved. “That was just a rumor I’ve heard about you peeps.”

“Yea, Clark. We’ve heard that before,” Buford agreed, putting his massive arm around Clark’s neck. “But it’s just a rumor. An evil, dirty lie. All we do is kill the people. Then sell their meat to a butcher that we don’t use.” He snapped Clark’s neck and dropped him to the floor. “And I’d say you’ll bring ‘bout a two-hundred and fifty dollars.”

“Daddy!” Bethany squealed, slapping him on his shoulder. “I wanted to screw him before you killed him!”

“Language, Bethany!” Bonnie snapped, eyes narrowing. “What have I told you about that silly slang talk?”

Bethany lowered her head. “Sorry, mom. I meant to say I wanted to fuck him before you killed him.”

“That’s better,” Bonnie replied, getting up and straightening the wrinkles out of her sundress.

“Now, lets go to the kitchen and start baking brownies. Your father has a long night of work ahead of him. And we need to talk about all of these little boys that you’ve been bringing home. Honey, don’t you remember what I’ve told you before? Size really does matter.”

"Bethany's Beau"
Copyright: © 2010 Chad Case
Chad Case lives in Lawrenceburg, Kentucky, with his wife, Melissa. He enjoys writing short horror fiction in his spare time. To date his works have been published on, The New Flesh Blogzine, Flashes In The Dark, Flashshot, and in the anthology: Toe Tags.


  1. If so, this piece is big!
    Loved it, language, plot, imagery.

  2. Mr. Chad Case,

    You are the man! This Flash Fiction is staggering! Please tell me there's more to come from the Bluetooth family!

    Donna Jean Lyons