“Hey Andy, can I ask you a question?” Matthew Revert said, farting silently into his wicker chair.

Andy squinted through cigarette smoke. “I guess.”

“You like me?”

“What do you mean?” Andy puffed on his fag and squinted some more.

“I mean, do you like me? As a fellow author…”

“Uh, not sure. Haven’t given it much thought. I guess not.”

Matthew farted again but this time it made a squeaking noise not unlike the crying out of a homesick mouse. “What about as a human being? Do you like me, respect me, as a human being?”

Andy put out his cigarette, took a swig of his fancy imported beer, and said, “You’re Australian, right?”

Matthew farted. “Yeah.”

“And you’re asking me if I respect you, like you, as a human being?”

"Yeah,” Matthew replied, farting.

“Last time I checked, Australians weren’t human beings.”

Matthew stood up from his wicker chair and farted. “I give up.”

Andy shrugged, took a sip of his beer, and lit another cigarette. “Me too,” Andy said as he farted into the bleak Ohio wind.

"Hey, Andy!"

Copyright: © 2011 Jordan Krall


1 comment: